This is a paper about job application. I need someone who rewrite every single sentence with different words but the same concept.
this is the paragraph:
The writer, while he has good intentions, is giving the potential employer too much information. The employer does not need to know the grade received in a class unless he asks for it. He also does not need to know that Ken almost lost his janitorial job. It is effective to provide the information that he was assistant manager of this company. It was also important that he included what he did after leaving the “graveyard shift janitor job” he had. The use of “graveyard shift” is also informal language and should not be used at all in a letter to a potential employer. It is applicable to provide the experience Ken has with CAD work, but the specifics are not necessary. Also he wrote “would you please consider me for the position of CAM technician.” This is begging the employer to hire and is completely informal. What he says right after this ridiculous statement is appropriate. The other thing he did correctly was include a resume that provides an overview of his education and work experience. I am not sure what the recommendations are for including an email address in a letter, but I am sure using the address to get in touch with Ken would be enough.
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